As I sit down and write this, we’re already into April. That means a quarter of the year has passed by. It’s usually a time of year when the majority of people who intended to excel and go after big goals, have already fallen off track. Today we’re going to dive into 3 reasons you still slip back into old habits so that you can make it the year which it doesn’t happen. Let this be the year where you step up and make lasting changes in your life.
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You Lack Clarity and Meaning
Oftentimes, people will pick a goal out of thin air or take an idea from someone else that, in truth, simply isn’t meaningful to them. For instance, being influenced by peers or parents’ expectations. Perhaps there is this idea that we “think” we’re supposed to be doing something, so we set it as a goal. But when we are unsure deep at our core, this will always pop up along the way and nag us inside.
Human beings usually take action for one of two reasons.
- To avoid pain
- To seek pleasure
What to do:
Focus on the consequences and reasons
Example: Let’s say for example that your goal is to lose 30lbs of weight.
You must know exactly why you’re doing it. But let’s pick a specific goal and habit within the bigger goal.
Within a big goal like the one mentioned, there will be several steps and habits required to make the goal become a reality. One of them might be - to exercise 3 or 4 times per week for 60 minutes.
You’d want to consider asking yourself some questions about this to increase the possibility of success.
What are the big emotional reasons? And what are the absolute worst-case scenarios of not taking action?
Write a list of them. In this case, it might be as follows:
- Becoming lazier
- Less energy
- Feeling more tired
- Feel like doing less
- Experiencing pain
- Less social time
- Fewer opportunities
- Lack of confidence
- Feeling depressed
- Disease and sickness
You can see that when you get deeper into the reasons, it becomes much more powerful. And this is just one specific habit toward your bigger goal. Repeat this process for all of the changes you’re looking to incorporate.
Read: 5 Steps to Achieving Big Goals in Your Life
You haven’t changed your paradigm or identity
What is a paradigm?
Essentially, a paradigm is a multitude of habits and unconscious conditioning that controls our behaviour and actions. These paradigms are from deeply rooted beliefs that were most likely put there at a young age.
How to change a paradigm?
Changing a paradigm usually happens in 1 of 3 ways.
- A life-changing emotional event.
- An authoritative figure such as a doctor telling you that you’re sick.
- Repetition of an idea, concept, or belief.
Your identity
Changing your identity means becoming the person you want to become. It’s about identifying with the traits and characteristics of the person who has already achieved what you want to achieve.
The person looking to lose 30lb would need to identify and act similarly to the person who is already where they want to be.
You are where you are today based on the beliefs, thoughts, actions, and results that have gotten you here. To upgrade yourself, you must upgrade your identity.
Personally speaking, health and fitness are something that I have identified with for most of my life. This is reflective of what I’m drawn to and is reflective of my lifestyle.
Knowing your personal core values will be a beneficial place to start.
Your identity is so important. How you see and feel about yourself will overpower everything else in your life.
No strategy, support, or system
Sometimes, new optimism and motivation lead to an unrealistic effort to move forward. This initial burst of energy to do too much, too soon, will only lead to disappointment.
We are creatures of habit and we rarely like to change at all. Comfort is something that we feel very drawn to. Therefore, without a solid system, it’s easy to slip back into old patterns.
Accountability is also another factor that will stop you from making lasting change. Success will improve with public accountability such as declaring your goals online, sharing with friends, or having a coach to help you.